People that are God sufficient do not magnify problems but belittle them. I am not saying be religious but let your relationship with God be seen in your disposition, words and character. When people meet a new friend, the first thing they want to know is (who is this person) and people get to know you by knowing your thought pattern which your tongue will give expression to and later your actions. If at the early stage of relationship or friendship you always sound positive, belittle problems, respectful and kind, the person you meet take an extra interest in you and that will over time graduate into a life time decision.
Marriage is partnership and in any partnership, each party must be offering something. There are some partnership businesses where one person owns the cash and another has the knowledge of the business. Nobody wants to partner with someone that has nothing to offer. At least if you do not have money to offer, you should have the fruit of God to offer, good character, humility, care, love, patience and will eventually lead to a good outcome of whatsoever you and your partner do in future. As a married person, if your spouse lost his/her job or business is down, your God sufficiency should help you handle it in a healthy way because the way you handle it will determine how well your spouse will come out of that circumstance.
Be a man or woman of courage and hope, your spouse will value you for it and that will land you on top of their list. One of the reasons some men or women cheat is when they can no longer confide, inspire and be encouraged their spouses.
You cannot inspire someone when you are not inspired yourself. This is where closeness with God helps you. Because you cannot be relating with God and not always be encouraged, inspired and hopeful. In most cases, married people that start dating outside their marriage begin with first finding a friend in another man or woman. A friend they could talk to and not criticize them, a friend that encourage them and advise them. A man or a woman outside always seems like nicer person than your spouse because they are not in the centre of the problems. They seem more understanding and encouraging.
To close the hole in the wall of your marriage and relationship, you have to be God sufficient and that will help supply the strength your spouse need in every circumstance.
Issues will always come up in a man or woman’s life. This was why God created man and a woman partnership in other for them to have a stronger force in battle. The word says “One shall chase a thousand but two ten thousand”. “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labour and if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow but woe to him that is alone when he falls, he had not another to help him up”.
Some issues appear as problem but they are opportunities in disguise. The way you handle it and encourage your spouse will determine how your spouse handles it and come out of it.
As a single man or woman, your relationship with God will determine if you will be a choice spouse or not. We have a lot to learn from the story of a queen called, Esther in the Bible. She was made a queen by divine favour in order for God to use her to save the Jewish people from destruction. If God could get the former queen to do what He intended to do, God could have kept her in her royal position.
2. Go out of your way for people:
When you learn to go out of your way for others, you always end up with a reward that is bigger than your sacrifice. Let me share some sacrifices made by ordinary women that God rewarded with uncommon husbands.
Ruth
Ruth was a young woman from a country called Moab, there she met her husband, Chilion a foreigner that moved with his family to stay in Moab. Shortly after their marriage, her husband died. Her husband’s brother, Mahlon also died. While her father in-law previously died long before then. Her mother in-law was left all alone with the two daughter in-laws. Ruth chose to go extra mile by leaving all she knew behind to follow her mother in-law back to Judah while Orpah stayed behind. When she got to Judah, she “went to gleaned in a field after a reaper and she happened to stop at the part that belonged to Boaz who was of the family of Elimelech and Boaz answered her, all that you have done for your mother in-law have been fully told me, and the Lord repay you for all you have done”. She later became the wife of the wealthy Boaz through whom the lineage of Christ came. See (Ruth 2:1-12) for the full story.
Even in marriage whatever you do for your husband or wife, God rewards you for it. One of the greatest jobs of a spouse is to help his/her partner succeed here on earth and also help make heaven. The sacrifice you make for others always comes back to you.
Rebecca
Rebbacca showed kindness to a foreigner, she met at the water well, and chose to give him water to drink and also for his camels and in return, God rewarded her with a multibillion dollar husband and gave her a name in the Bible history just because of a simple act of gesture.
When you serve someone else with all your heart without favour in view, God rewards you more than you can imagine. There are things prayers alone cannot give you (especially when it comes to marriage and relationship, it depends largely on actions, prayers only crown it up). You need to learn to go out of your way to help people. Look at the case of these two women, the Bible did not tell us they prayed for a partner, they were just women that loved to serve others. See (Genesis 24:14).
Queen Esther
Many people pray for God to give them the same favour Queen Esther enjoyed without knowing her secrets. One of the secrets of Esther apart from prayers that was later displayed in her life was her humility and that came as a result of service to her uncle Modecai who she grew up with.
Also while preparing for the beauty contest, she was humble enough to only take what was giving to her by the keeper of the women, even when she had the right to demand whatsoever she desired. And that was all the King needed as at that time in the kingdom. “humility”. The opposite of humility is arrogance which was the offence of the formal Queen Vashti –
Whether you are a man or woman, when you learn to be nice to others and go out of your way to help serve others, God will reward you with a reward far more than you imagine. See (ESTHER 1,2)
3. Learn to present yourself rightly: If you will be preferred to another largely depends on how you present yourself. People lose good relationship because of poor self presentation. If you want to go into business partnership with someone; one of the major concerns will be, can this person play his part? Does he have the capacity to perform? Once you are sure of that, you are willing to partner. But the moment the person shows any sign of incompetence, you want to have a rethink. That is how it is when you present yourself low before any prospective spouse. Have you noticed for instance, you want to give out a contract to someone, one person will bid higher and another may bid even lower, In most cases the one that bid higher has good packaging, speaks well, communicate more on the job to you. Eight out of ten people prefer to pay higher even when the lower bid can do exactly the same job, because of low packaging.
If you present yourself wrongly before your spouse, you have a life time to pay for it. This implies as well to In-laws. Do not present yourself to a man that will give him the notion that he can have sex with you or assault you. There are some errors you fall into with someone you can never recover from or get your dignity back –The way people treat you is the way you present yourself to them.
If you want a man or a woman to respect you in marriage or relationship:
a. Do not be desperate
b. Learn to use your tongue wisely
c. Avoid complaining on a particular issue for too long
d. Respect yourself
e. Respect them in every way possible
Always sell yourself rightly, Every person love a purposeful and a focused man or woman. Every person wants someone that will add value to their lives. (Heb.12:16-17)says “Lest there be any fornicator or profane person like Esau, who for a morsel of meat sold his birth right, – “For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected; for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears”.
A lot of thing we cry for today are as a result of yesterday’s mistakes. Yes, God always forgive, but here on earth, some of your crowns could be misplaced, God forbid. It was not in heaven that Jacob took Esau’s blessing but here on earth. It should have been God of Abraham, Isaac and Esau. We all think Jacob stole Esau’s blessing but it is not so. he sold it. When the father, Isaac said to Esau give me food such as my soul loves and I will bless you, why did he not say, no father I have sold it to my brother Jacob, it is no longer mine. He wanted to eat his cake and have it. You cannot sell yourself cheap and expect respect from any man or woman.
4. Be prayerful: You cannot be a choice spouse without a strong prayer life. The Bible says “except God builds a house, they labour in vain that builds it. Except God watches over a city, the watchman watches in vain”. You need God to stay happy in marriage or any relationship. A lot of people are visiting babalawo because of probably the same spouse, and you think you can sleep without prayers all nights and day?. That is why you see people take over other people’s homes, finances, fiancée. You may say “I am a Christian” and you fail to use your weapon; they will use theirs to conquer you.
Good husbands or wives are rare to find, even the one’s you call foolish, people do not mind, they just want a home. Men and women cheat on their spouse more than ever before; this is because of lack of prayers and godliness in many homes today.
You can protect your life, marriage, children’s future, your spouse and eternal destination with constant communication with God. As a single person, you need prayers to connect with your ordain spouse.
Some years ago, I got to understand the ministry of angels and I woke up one morning and said a simple prayers, “Father in heaven where-ever my husband is right now on planet earth, I release my angels to the corners of the earth to search and bring him my way” in less than three hours, a friend called me,
My angels left Nigeria, landed in United Kingdom woke up an old friend of mine that we had lost contacts; while he was searching for a document in the process located an old diary and found my contact, we started communicating again and got wedded two years after. You are the next in line. Start praying.
You can pray out a wrong man/woman. But you cannot have good communication to whom you do not have good relationship with. You need to be close to the CEO of the institution of relationship and marriage.
-------author by Judith Daniel-Imagoro Visit www.gloriouslivingsinglesandmarri
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